“Breathe, it’ll pass.”
We’ve all heard it. Perhaps too often. However, if it were that simple, fewer of us would feel stress building up first thing in the morning. The issue is not a lack of tools, but rather a lack of understanding of why they work and how to integrate them into our lives.
In this article, I invite you to explore stress in a different way, in four simple but powerful steps. A 4D journey: discovery, drivers, detection, and direction. Because understanding your stress is the first step toward managing it.
DISCOVERY: Understanding Stress
Before managing it, you need to know what you’re up against.
Stress is not a weakness. It is a normal, physiological reaction triggered by our brain to protect us from perceived danger—whether absolute (e.g., a bear in front of me) or relative (e.g., a dentist appointment).
It’s our internal alarm system. Our heart races, our thoughts spin … all with one purpose: to prepare us to flee or fight.
But where do we experience stress today? Behind a screen, in our car, in a meeting room… When this mechanism is triggered too often or too strongly, it ends up harming us. Understanding this reaction means regaining power. It’s not “in our head,” it’s in our body. And that changes everything.
DRIVERS: Identifying What Increases Stress
You may already be familiar with the acronym N.U.T.S., developed by neuroscience researcher Sonia Lupien. It describes the four main triggers of stress:
• N is for novelty
• U is for unpredictability
• T is for threat to the ego
• S is for sense of low control
As soon as one or more of these elements is present in a situation, our brain perceives danger and activates the alarm signal. Identifying these triggers in our daily lives is the first step toward defusing the bomb.
DETECTION: Recognizing Signs of Psychological Distress
Stress becomes problematic when it creeps up on you. Warning signs often appear when stressors occur frequently. It’s a bit like the tip of an iceberg: what you see on the surface indicates that stress is well established beneath.
Here are four categories of signs to watch for (to be distinguished from a medical diagnosis):
• Physical: muscle tension, headaches, sleep disorders, etc.
• Emotional: irritability, anxiety, mood swings, etc.
• Cognitive: difficulty concentrating, memory lapses, etc.
• Behavioural: isolation, avoidance, excessive agitation, etc.
Learning to recognize your personal signs is an act of prevention. It means listening to the whispers … before your body screams.
DIRECTION: Gaining the Tools to Better Cope With Stress
Once you understand the mechanism, the tools make perfect sense. Here are two simple but powerful ones:
1. Belly breathing
Breathe in deeply, filling your belly, then exhale slowly, pulling your belly button in. This movement stretches the diaphragm and activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms us down. It’s not magical, it’s neurological.
What if you took five deep breaths every time you washed your hands?
2. The orientation of thoughts
At the end of your day, what do you focus on?
What went well or what was more difficult?
Most of us dwell on what was difficult. And since our brains can’t distinguish between reality and imagination, simply thinking about it triggers a stress response.
Learning to refocus your attention on what is going well or what makes you feel good is not magical thinking. It’s mental training.
(Note: this does not mean ignoring what is wrong, but rather giving space to what is going well.)
Stress is part of life. But it doesn’t have to take control.
By understanding how it works, identifying its triggers, listening to its signals, and incorporating practical tools, we can not only cope with it better, but also regain a sense of balance.
Why not start today, one small step at a time?
About the Author
Chantal Dufort is a teacher, speaker, and specialist in mental health in the workplace. She helps organizations across Quebec build healthy, humane, and high-performing work environments. With an accessible, lively, and practical approach, she helps managers turn stress into a lever for action.
