In a world that rewards productivity and constant striving, play offers something different: a way to reconnect with yourself, your senses, and the present moment.

Think about the last time you played.

Really played.

Was it sitting on the floor of your childhood bedroom building Lego creations? Was it racing up the play structure at recess and shouting, “Not it!” before your friends could catch you? Or maybe it was hiding in your mother's closet, trying not to laugh while standing in her oversized boots.

At some point, many of us stopped playing.

We packed away the Lego blocks. We stopped making up games. We stopped asking people to join us in moments of silliness and imagination.

WHY HIGH ACHIEVERS STRUGGLE TO PAUSE

Instead, we grew up.

We became responsible. Productive. Efficient. We focused on careers, families, schedules, and obligations.

And while those things matter, many of us lost something important along the way.

We lost our connection to play.

The irony is that play isn't just for children. Play is one of the fastest ways back into the present moment. And in a world where so many of us live in our heads, presence may be exactly what we're missing.

Why Play Matters

When people arrive in my therapy office—especially couples who feel disconnected—I often become curious about one thing:

What Brings You a Sense of Play?

At first, people are surprised by the question. After all, they're managing careers, parenting children, caring for aging parents, paying bills, and trying to keep up with everyday life. Play can seem frivolous.

But play isn't just about having fun.

Play is one of the ways we stay connected to ourselves. It's curiosity, exploration, and creativity. It's engaging with the moment simply because we're in it, not because we're trying to accomplish something.

When we lose touch with play, we often lose touch with ourselves. We become overwhelmed. We end up no longer listening to our needs. We lose our connection to joy, creativity, spontaneity, and desire, not just sexual desire, but desire for the joys of life itself.

But play? It reminds us how to experience life rather than simply manage it.

The Difference Between Presence and Being Stuck in Your Mind

Here's a question to consider: Do you know when you're present?

Many people don't.

Presence is the ability to notice what's happening right now. You observe your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and experiences without immediately reacting to them. You recognize that whatever you're experiencing in this moment will eventually shift and change.

Being stuck in your mind is different. Being in your mind looks like standing in the shower while mentally writing emails. It looks like rehearsing a difficult conversation that hasn't happened yet (or might be one you decide to never have). It looks like reliving an argument from yesterday or worrying about something that might happen tomorrow.

Your body is here… but your mind is somewhere else entirely.

Most of us spend far more time in our heads than we realize. And it's creating more exhaustion that you might even be aware of.

When we're constantly thinking, planning, solving, anticipating, and preparing, we lose access to what's happening right in front of us. We lose access to ourselves.

This is why play matters.

Play naturally invites us into the present moment. When you're genuinely playing, you're not thinking about next week.

You're here.

woman pouring a bucket of water on herself

Three Ways to Use Play to Return to Presence

The goal of play isn't performance. It isn't productivity nor mastery. The goal is simply to experience something moment by moment. Here are three ways to begin.

1. Create Without a Goal

Grab some Lego, Play-Doh, paint, clay, or colouring supplies. And before you begin, give yourself one instruction:

There is no outcome.

The goal isn't to make something beautiful. The goal isn't to create something worth sharing. Instead, the goal is simply to experience the activity itself.

Notice what it feels like to connect two Lego blocks together. Observe the colours.

Feel the texture of the clay in your hands.

Watch the paint spread across the page.

You might notice your mind wanting to judge, critique, or perfect what you're making. That's okay. Simply notice it. You can even say to yourself:

"That's interesting." or "I'm noticing the urge to get this right."

Play invites us to participate rather than perform.

2. Follow Your Sense of Smell

One of the quickest ways to become present is through your senses. Scent is often the most powerful.

When was the last time you truly smelled a strawberry before eating it?

Or held a lemon in your hands and noticed its sharp, bright scent?

One of my favourite scents during the rituals at Nordik Spa Village is rosemary.

The moment I smell it, I'm transported back to being eight years old, walking through my mother's summer garden. Suddenly I'm not thinking about emails, appointments, or responsibilities. I'm remembering. I'm experiencing. I'm present.

Here’s how to try it:

Choose a few scents from your environment: herbs, fruit, flowers, essential oils, or objects from nature.
Bring each one slowly to your nose.
Take a deep breath.
Notice what memories, emotions, or sensations emerge. (No judgements!)
Allow yourself to experience them without needing to do anything with them.

EXPERIENCE A VILLAGE RITUAL

3. Move for the Joy of Moving

Many of us only move our bodies with a purpose: to exercise, to train, to achieve some kind of goal (step goals; weights lifted; number of workouts a week).

Playful movement is different. It's movement for the experience itself.

Put on a favourite song and dance around your kitchen.

Walk a different way than you normally would.

Skip. Spin. Move sideways.

One day while walking with my daughter, I could tell she was getting tired of the walk. So, I suggested we stop walking forward altogether. Instead, we spent the next ten minutes walking sideways down the street. What began as a distraction turned into uncontrollable laughter. And that laughter changed the entire experience.

Play has a way of doing that. It shifts us out of performance and into participation.

Final Thoughts

Children don't need to be taught how to play. They naturally move toward curiosity, imagination, exploration, and wonder.

As adults, play often disappears when life becomes organized around productivity, responsibility, and performance.

But play isn't childish. It's human. In many ways, play is practice for presence. It teaches us how to notice. How to experience. And how to engage with the world in real time.

And when we become more present, we become more connected to ourselves, to the people we love, and to the moments that make up our lives.

The goal isn't to become less responsible or to abandon your ambitions. The goal is to remember that you are more than your responsibilities.

So, the next time you find yourself rushing through the day, consider this invitation:

Pause
Play

Notice what happens.

You may discover that what you've been searching for isn't something you need to achieve at all. It may already be here, waiting in the present moment.

READ ABOUT THE JOY OF TAKING BREAKS

About the Author

Dr. Tracy Dalgleish is a clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and sought-after relationship expert. She is the creator of Be Connected Digital, where she teaches people all over the world how to have healthy relationships. Her work has been featured in outlets like The New York Times, Forbes, and Time, and her research has appeared in peer-reviewed academic journals. Dr. Tracy is the author of You, Your Husband, and His Mother, and I Didn't Sign Up for This and the host of the top-100 parenting podcast Dear Dr. Tracy. The owner of Ottawa’s mental health clinic Integrated Wellness, she lives in Ottawa with her husband and two children.

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The Art of Play: A Pathway Back to Presence